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Thursday, 8 September 2011

Post the Eighteenth (in which our heroine is grateful for her lack of a sweeth tooth)

So, you may recall me complaining about the effect a prolonged period of unemployment was having on my figure a few weeks ago.  Specifically, that said figure was disappearing under a layer of home baking-induced fat.  This is because I tend to only bake bread which A) is only nice when it's fresh, so you have to eat it all the day it's baked and B) would be defiled by having anything other than lashings of real butter put on it.  You can see where this might lead to increased tightness in one's clothing, I'm sure.

The solution, for me, therefore, when I feel the need to get floury in the kitchen, is to bake sweet thangs.  I don't have a sweet tooth, you see, whereas Emmet has 32 of them, so it's a win-win situation.  It also helps that he has the metabolism of a coked-up hummingbird, whereas mine is closer to that of a sloth who has nested inadvisably close to an ether factory.

In an attempt to kick-start ye olde metabolism, I have tried to go low-carb this week.  This is extremely difficult for me for two reasons:

1. I have spent years refuting the whole "carbs are evil" dogma.  I still think Atkin's is a load of shite, but looking at A)  my skinny older sister and B) the way carbs were points-loaded when Weight Watchers launched ProPoints, I have finally conceded that they may not be as waistline friendly as I would like them to be.


2. I *am* the Carb Queen.  I've been known to have potato waffles on toast, for crying out loud.  So this was always going to be hard.

The biggest challenge for me this week has been trying to come up with low-carb lunch ideas.  I mean, lets face it, pretty much everything you ever have for lunch comes in or on some kind of bread item.  Or, sometimes, for a change, a baked potato.  The Atkin's Acolytes aren't very helpful, as all they seem to eat is cheese & bacon, and I'm not looking to simply replace my obesity-induced heart attack with a sodium-induced one, thanks very glad.  I could have made a big vat of soup, but to be honest, I'm not the biggest soup-eater in the world and get bored of eating the same type within two days.

Anyway, if anyone has any tasty low-carb lunch ideas, please feel free to post them below.  Although I'll probably have fallen off the wagon spectacularly by tomorrow and be having Chipstick sandwiches or something.  Anyway, today's lunch was a meatball salad with a cold egg, cheese & onion.  It was very tasty.

And yesterday, I had lettuce, warm eggs and finely grated cheese, all wrapped up in slices of French ham.  Only this was before I rolled them up, obviously...

I had apple slices & cheese the day before that, but I didn't think that really warranted a photo.

And so, to the baked goods.  I'm a terribly disorganised baker and never actually plan anything, so am always limited to baking things I have the ingredients for to hand - so, biscuits, basically.  They also don't require any fancy-ass equipment, which is another tick in their favour, if you ask me.

Rolo Cookies - makes 24 (allegedly - I ended up with about 30)

400g plain flour (the recipe specifies cream plain, but I used plain plain, and the world didn't end, so there)
250g butter, softened                         150g light muscovado sugar
150g white sugar                                4 tbs cocoa
2 level tsp baking powder                   2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla essence                           24 Rolos

1. Preheat the oven to 190C and grease two large baking trays.

2. In a large bowl, beat the butter & sugars until light and fluffy.  If you're a pov, like me, spend this time wishing you had an electric mixer.

3. Add the eggs and vanilla essence and beat again (beat again, it's killing me...).  Sift in the flour, cocoa and baking powder and mix well with a wooden spoon until you get a thick dough.

4. To form each cookie, take about a tablespoon of the dough into your hands, stick a rolo into the middle of it, then roll into a ball.  Stick onto your baking sheet and flatten slightly, but not too much - you don't want any of the rolo sticking out anywhere.

5. Bake for ten minutes until just set and slightly cracked on top - you want them to be slightly soft, still.  Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the tray for two minutes, then move to a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

These cookies work with pretty much any chocolatey sweet, by the way - Minstrels, Munchies, Poppets - give 'em all a go.

Today's Top Tip: Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking a match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the leak.

Oh, and after all my talk of going low-carb, I'm having gnocchi for dinner tonight.  Ah well.


  1. Do you eat salmon? I made a salmon salad the other day that was pretty good, and no carbs in site.

  2. Not, really, Ashlie, but I do eat tuna. Salade nicoise tomorrow, methinks...

  3. I also highly recommend copying the yummy low fat salad from Le Bon Crubeen. Grilled lemon chicken on a salad of spinach, chickpeas, red onion and natural yogurt. Seriously tasty, seriously easy and seriously low fat. #winning!